Reflection . . . beginnings

Reflection . . . beginnings

This assignment, to record, transcribe, and write a reflection on the experience, was more difficult than I imagined. It's hard because you have in front of you empirical evidence of your performance. There were times as I listened to the 30 minute recording, that I cringed, and thought, "Well, that wasn't very clear, now was it."

The transcribed portion of the class dealt with a question that was referred to in the prompt I had given them for the diagnostic – “How do you intend to go about doing it (learning)? Do you intend to do as you’re told? Is that what learning consists of?”

The prompt was complicated, asking students to consider a number of issues related to their reasons for being in college, what they imagined they were doing there, what they intended to learn, and how they might go about doing it. The prompt also asked them what a good student is, and what a good teacher is. I expected some students to simply answer the questions, one by one, and others to pick and choose what to address. At any rate, their directions were to formulate a complete essay based on the issues and ideas presented in the prompt. This was the diagnostic portion, however, in truth, I couldn’t care less about the writing as a diagnostic, what I really want to do with the prompt is get them thinking, and the class as a whole discussing, the issues presented in the prompt.

I think, however, considering the course as a whole, so far, that the discussion of the diagnostic writing prompt turned into an unlikely teaching moment. I had discussed with the class the very first day my thoughts about teaching and learning writing. I had told them that it was my belief that the best way to learn writing is by writing, and by being cognizant of what it is that YOU are doing as you write, the sorts of decisions YOU are making, and how those decisions potentially impact the product of the writing task in front of you.

I was really fortunate to have "Franek" respond to the prompt in the way he did. Franek did not really address the prompt. He synthesized the overarching idea presented to him, why are you here?, and gave his own heartfelt, honest, and open response. He was writing for himself, not teacher; he had discovered his own reason for writing the essay. I respect this. Franek did not simply follow instructions.

The essay that Franek wrote mattered to him. This was an essay that transcended the simple prompt I had given him. This was an essay about tradition and legacy. This was an essay about one man's drive to meet or exceed the success and privilege of his father. This essay matters to more than just Franek; it matters to all self-reflective readers who might ask themselves why they are doing what they are doing with their life. Franek did not simply follow directions.

I am fortunate to have Franek in my class.

This lesson worked because of him, because of his courage in going beyond, in doing something other than he was asked to do. Without Franek, I would have been speaking, in response to the diagnostic prompt, in generalities, but with his essay in front of us (the class), I had before me concrete and demonstrable proof of the point I was trying to make. I thank Franek.

I think my students may understand somewhat better the role of the student in this teaching and learning endeavor. I think my students might understand why and when it is appropriate to take the reins, and make their learning their own, rather than simply trying to please teacher.

However, when I look back over the entire recording, a see myself doing much the same in the inverse – trying to please the students. I recorded 35 minutes of the class, and it was only in the last 4 or 5 minutes that I allowed the students to speak. It’s early in the term, so I do have a lot to say about writing to get them oriented to a new way of thinking about writing, but, this isn’t really an excuse, because, in truth, I know that early in the term I spend a great deal of time establishing MY credibility with them, and I do so by speaking at them, rather than speaking to them. I spent 30 minutes speaking at them during this class period.

I think this is problematic because later in the term, when I expect participation and want fruitful discussions, they are sometimes hard to come by, probably because I have set a tone early in the course that I am the most important voice in the class. I’ll have to do some more thinking about this line between teacher-centered and learner-centered. I know, from experience, that I need something from teacher before I’m ready to fully participate in a course’s content. I need some foundation and understanding to pull from, and I hate the classes that I’ve had that have been entirely student-centered with no input from teacher. In know, in my stats class, the professor came in the first day with a grading contract and wanting all of us to decide what sorts of projects we were going to do to earn our grades. I felt totally unable and unprepared to make a decision about even what sort of topic paper I might write because I knew nothing about the course content. I think students need a foundation.

Maybe this is really a question of teaching and learning, and maybe I really don’t know how to TEACH well at all. I know I can lecture well. I know I can offer feedback on papers well. I know that one-to-one I can help students well. But maybe I need to rethink HOW I present material to the class as a whole, so I’m doing more teaching, or drawing students to conclusions through interaction, activities, querying, etc., rather than doing so much talking at them.

I don’t know.